At least make sure they are 18
Why
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
