Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
