Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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