It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
