You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
