people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
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In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
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I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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