i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
handjob tips. give me some.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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