I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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