I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
