You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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