im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
