i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The adults are the big ones right?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
