Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
