do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
