it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
