I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize