Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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