Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
