real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
