Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
