dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
