is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
