Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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