Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
