I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
