so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
