Dual....:-)
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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