TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
