On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
