u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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