I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize