guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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