she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
