No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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