i was born a porn star she said
Its about making memories worth repressing
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Randomize
