I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
