Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
