good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize