I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
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Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
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So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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