Life is so much better after having sex.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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