I want to make a zoo with you.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
