Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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