kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
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I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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