Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
