Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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