If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
