she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
