Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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