So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
