you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
