Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
