Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
