remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
