I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
