Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i think my cat just said my name.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
