I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
