Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
