my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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