Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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