So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
