you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
These tits shall not be calmed
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
