The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize