How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
