just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
oh god the rape fog is back!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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